Dating can mean a date, a few weeks of texting, being exclusive — or simply seeing where things go. Somewhere between situationships, ghosting and endless swiping, even the definition of a relationship seems up for negotiation. The numbers suggest the uncertainty is real. Only 34% of Gen Z say they’ve been in a committed relationship, while 29% have never been in one. Another 20% describe their current romantic setup as a situationship. And 31% of Gen Z singles in India say they feel acutely lonely without a partner.So… what counts as dating?Is it going on dates? Talking every day? Being exclusive? Meeting each other’s friends? The answer depends on who you ask. “Some people are genuinely looking for love, but I feel, because of the internet, standards have risen so much. People don’t want to settle for the bare minimum,” says Alisha Verma, a marketing lead in her mid-20s.For others, the lack of definition is exactly the problem. “Dating, for me, is being exclusive, for sure,” says social media manager Varshitha TS. “At a time where situationships are an actual thing, it’s important to find a loyal partner and know that we’re both genuinely choosing each other.”Svetlana Gurung, a senior account executive, sees a disconnect between what people want and how they actually date. She explains, “I would say dating means being exclusive with each other and building a future together. But on behalf of the generation, I would say it is more about ‘going with the flow,’ because people often do not know what they want and do not want to put a label on things.”Situationships: convenient or complicated?The word may have entered the dating dictionary only in 2017, but the setup is now familiar: intimacy without a definition, connection without a commitment. “I think people want relationships, but when it comes to actually maintaining one and putting in the effort, they do not always want to commit to that,” says Svetlana.Varshitha sees the appeal. “I feel like people want the fun and intimacy of a relationship without having to deal with the actual commitment. And because so many people are willing to settle for less or stay in that grey area, situationships have become normalised.”Seen at 2:14. Replied at 2:47. Relationship status: ?Ghosting is hardly new, but the debate around it continues. Some see it as unnecessarily cruel; others see it as a clean exit. “I never understood why people get so upset being ghosted on a dating app. I just forget about them and move on with my life,” says one Reddit user. Another replies: “People get upset about being ghosted because they were interested in the person who ghosted them. Not a hard concept. Lol.”Swipe right. Match. Now what?Dating apps have made meeting people easier. Whether they have made connecting easier is another question. One Forbes survey found that 79% of Gen Z feel fatigued by dating apps. “I’d say it’s harder to actually connect on dating apps. People can be very performative on dating apps and often don’t really know what they want. I also feel like Gen Z girls are craving something more organic now: the random meet-cute, meeting someone through friends, or just having someone come to you at a café or a bar,” says Varshitha.“Earlier, the choices people had were in front of them. You chose who you approached at a bar you were at, a class you were taking or a job you were working. Now the choice is an entire city or even geographically centric; and more in the palm of your hands,” says one Reddit user.And more choice doesn’t necessarily make the decision easier. “Too many choices makes you feel like there’s always a better person out there,” says Alisha. Yet the desire for something lasting hasn’t disappeared. A 2023 YouGov India study found that 59% of young Indians date with long-term commitment in mind.Why does dating feel exhausting?
- Situationships with no exit plan
- Ghosting and breadcrumbing
- Fear of commitment
- Expectations that keep getting higher
- Too many choices
- Dating-app fatigue
So what would make dating better?For Alisha, it’s allowing room for imperfection. “Maybe stability, and the idea that everything isn’t a red flag. A person can be flawed and still be a good person most days. Don’t look at everyone through the same lens.” Varshitha points to the time it takes to really know someone. “Meeting someone three times and getting hitched isn’t really how things work anymore,” she says.
