Tivim: After answering her Class X examinations, another test awaited Rutika Kauthankar of Autchitwaddo, Tivim. She would have to return as a dhond (devotee who keeps a fast) to the goddress Lairai jatra in Shirgao, Bicholim, on April 21. It was at this very jatra venue that she witnessed her mother Tanuja’s death in a stampede last year during the rituals.Rutika kept telling her aunt she does not have it in her to return as a dhond in less than a year of her mother’s death.“My mother was the first to stumble and fall. I could hear her say to me ‘Shanu, who will take care of you after me’. I think she breathed her last then and there. I fell unconscious. I am afraid it will happen again,” says Rutika, sitting at a temple near her house with several other dhonds to complete the pre-jatra rituals.Her older sister Saily adds that Rutika will not be participating in the rituals during the night to save her from the trauma. “She will complete the ritual fasting here and visit the temple in the morning and return home, to avoid the crowds,” Saily says.Rutika would choose not to participate at all, but her aunt Roshan reminded the teen that her deceased mother Tanuja had vowed her daughter would serve as dhond.“Rutika would frequently get ill, get boils all over her body and scalp. She was cured after Tanuja’s vow. Tanuja would take her daughter as a dhond to Lairai jatra since the child was in Class VI,” says Roshan Kauthankar.Tanuja had been serving as a dhond even prior to her marriage, say family members.“I cannot say when I will be able to attend the jatra rituals during the night again after what happened,” says Rutika.She has suffered serious injuries from the stampede. Her back still hurts and treatment to resolve the issue is still on a year later.“I fell unconscious after tripping in the stampede over my mother. My second cousin, Aditya, who also lost his life in the stampede, fell over me. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness after that. I remember being briefly taken to someone’s house and given CPR. I was transported to the Bicholim health centre. I was not told nor was I in the state to ask my mother’s whereabouts,” says Rutika.It was only after being brought home the evening after the jatra that she realised she had arrived for her mother’s funeral.“If the crowd management is better this year, maybe I will be able to attend the jatra at night next year, or maybe not. It is difficult to say. It is just us two sisters and our father Shyamsunder now. We cannot risk anything,” says Rutika.
