Gurgaon: After years of domestic abuse, Sharmila Dhankar was thrown out of the house by her first husband in 2014, soon after giving birth to a second daughter.Struck by polio at 2 and left to fend for herself at 28, the odds seemed to only stack up. But Sharmila didn’t give in. Neither did she ask for sympathy. Thanks to her mother, two loving daughters and the man she met later – now her husband – she had all the support she needed when she began rebuilding her life.This week, Sharmila’s determination and her family’s quiet, unwavering support shone through when she became the first Indian para athlete to win a Commonwealth Games gold medal. Personally, the shot-putter who only began formal training at 34, an age many athletes consider to be their sunset phase, scripted a comeback story for the ages.Married at just 19 in 2005, Sharmila faced years of domestic abuse. The violence, she said, began soon after the birth of her first daughter. “My first husband started beating me regularly,” she told TOI from Glasgow, where she aced the F57 category with a season-best throw of 9.81 metres. “The night he evicted me from the house is the darkest moment of my life. Since then, my two daughters (now 16 and 12) have been my biggest motivations to turn things around,” she added.In 2017, she married Ajit Singh, 45, a Rewari-based mechanic, who recognised her potential and encouraged her to take up sports. Sharmila was initially hesitant. “I would tell him, ‘I am too old to start now. What will I achieve at this age?’ He told me to try. I began training from Jan 8, 2020, at Rao Tularam Stadium under coach Tek Chand,” she said.
Sharmila clinched the top spot in the women’s shot put in the F57 category in Glasgow with a season-best throw of 9.81 metres
The road that followed also brought heartbreaks. In the 2022 Commonwealth Games and the 2023 Asian Games, she narrowly missed medals, finishing fourth at both events. Each near-miss came with emotional and financial strain, as her training required nearly Rs 1 lakh a month for coaching, diet, travel and recovery.But when doubts began to creep in and finances ran dry, mother Santosh Devi became her strongest supporter and sold her half-acre land for Rs 28 lakh to fund her preparations. “People told me we were wasting money and that she would never win. But I knew my daughter’s strength. I told her, ‘You have already fought battles people cannot even imagine. A medal does not define you. Go again and give it your all,’” Santosh Devi, who lives in Mahendergarh, told TOI, adding she had full faith that one day Sharmila would make the country proud.
Sharmila Dhankar’s mother and other family members celebrate at their Mahendergarh home on Wednesday
“My mother kept repeating a line from the movie ‘Dangal’: ‘Humari chhori chhoron se kam se ke,’ and that always boosted me. I will always be grateful to my mother and husband for their unconditional support,” Sharmila said.Her older daughter, who has witnessed her mother’s journey, said, “We have seen our mother struggle and work hard every single day. Even when she lost, she never gave up. For us, she was always a winner. Today, when she has won gold for India, it feels like our dreams have come true.”Singh attributed the gold medal to eight years of hard work. “Having played badminton myself, I had an understanding of sports. We started training together. I would oversee her practice from the beginning, managing her gym workouts and throw training sessions. So many people tried to discourage us along the way, but I never listened to anyone and kept pushing her. We are overjoyed. The girls have been celebrating and bursting firecrackers day and night,” Singh said.Coach Tek Chand, who has trained Sharmila since 2020, said that to excel in any sport, passion and dedication are key. “Many people have a good physical structure; just look at top athletes like Neeraj Chopra, but many simply lack the inner drive to work hard and that urge to achieve something. Sharmila Dhankar expressed a clear determination to train hard and win a medal for the country from the day she started her training,” he said.At Chitroli village in Mahendragarh, a grand homecoming now awaits Sharmila on her return from Scotland, likely on Aug 4. She is also scheduled to meet Prime Minister Narendra Modi the same day.Coach Tek Chand, who has trained Sharmila since 2020, said that to excel in any sport, passion and dedication are key. “Many people have a good physical structure; just look at top athletes like Neeraj Chopra, but many simply lack the inner drive to work hard and that urge to achieve something. Sharmila Dhankar expressed a clear determination to train hard and win a medal for the country from the day she started her training,” he said.At Chitroli village in Mahendragarh, a grand homecoming now awaits Sharmila on her return from Scotland, likely on Aug 4. She is also scheduled to meet Prime Minister Narendra Modi the same day.
